Losing a Soul
by Enita Krell
Summary: What's happiness? Three of them never knew an answer to this question. Each lived through something that left a soul shattered. With an upcoming war there seems no chance that they will find any solace for their exhausted minds. Or maybe something will change? The world is threatened to descend into chaos, and it seems that the only way to survive is to face up to their demons...
1. Chapter 1

**Warnings:** mature themes and explicit language. Also, there will be lots of OCs. Though I don't intend to dedicate the whole story to them. So you were warned. I will try to avoid OOCness as much as possible, as I am mostly interested in dynamics of existing characters in the new situation. The first several chapters are quite filled with action, however with the story following I will pay more attention to a psychological line. Hope, you will enjoy it. =)

 **Disclaimer:** that's clear as day, I do not own Harry Potter.)

 **I have no beta.**

 **Chapter 1**

The woman had never thought that she would see this once marvelous mansion in such a pitiable condition. From her early childhood, she remembered ancient beautiful tapestries with scenes of magical middle-aged times lining bright marble corridors and huge silk carpets decorating spacious halls. Then she could feel magic seeping through the walls, swirling around every tiny thing in the room and dissolving into the air, making the little child shivering with exquisite delight. Now she couldn't feel anything. It looked like the place which was constantly besieged by dementors who left there only chilling winds and oppressive silence.

That's what became of a house whose owner was a muggleborn. Frowning she pushed this thought away. It wasn't the time to ponder on things like this and regret her mother's choices. If she wouldn't be faster, he could die. It didn't matter how much she despised him; after all, he was her father. And family for her meant more than herself.

Just as her lungs felt like they would burst at any second, the woman saw the right door. Not stopping for a second she rushed into the lit room, only to freeze to the spot. In three inches to her boots, there was a mess of innards covered in congealed blood. A small stream went down to a huge pool, in the center of which was laying mutilated piece of meat. The place smelled up with nauseating fetid stench, but she didn't even notice it. The woman stood there, breathless, staring at the familiar distorted face.

She was late… She… no, it couldn't be like this. Who…

"He was a disgusting person, so I made sure that he'd had an appropriate death."

A shiver ran down her spine as she heard the voice. There was no way in the world that it belonged to her sister. It was too calm, too icy. However, it was true. Nobody could get past those wards apart from them. Afraid of what she will see behind the woman turned her head slowly and looked at the girl in front of her. She stood there casually with slightly amused expression.

Something in those azure eyes made her snap out of stupor and she furrowed her brows in confusion.

"What's happened? Why are you here?" she cast a sidelong glance at a corpse. "I can sense magic…"

"I've asked my friend and he killed him for me," the girl said simply, sauntering into the room and coming over to the body apparently not bothered by the gore. The woman grimaced when the other poked a head with a tip of her shoe.

"Filthy creature," the girl growled angrily and kicked the head away.

"He was our father, Aveza, how could you even think of doing… this… to him!" her temper won over the bewilderment and horror. That was just too much seeing her sister express such a sheer malice towards their parent.

"Don't call me that!" her sister turned round abruptly and pointed a finger at her chest. "My name is Avis, Avis, do you hear me?! I'm done with all your patriotic stuff! Maybe you've forgotten who our original predecessor is?!"

For a second she thought that the girl would hit her. The thought was incredible in itself, so she quickly regained her composure.

"She was from Scotland, and your stupid Latin nickname doesn't bring you closer to our heritage. Answer me, sister" the woman stepped up closer to the girl, "Why did you ask someone to kill our father? I thought we had already solved this issue. He begged for your forgiveness, what else did you need? Why didn't you talk to me in the first place?" she stopped several inches from the other and looked at her with a mixture of reproach and sorrow. "You know that I would do anything for you."

Something shattered in girl's glacial blue eyes and she shoved the woman back with full force so the other fell on the muddy floor.

"Expelliarmus!"

With a shock, the woman stared at her sister holding her own wand and aiming at her heart. The enraged expression on the other's face changed into the smug one and the girl let out a cackle of laughter.

"Oh, darling, are you surprised? I can do magic!" she spoke in a sing-song voice, "Isn't it wonderful?"

"How? You're not…" her voice came out weak and hoarse as she stared unbelievingly at her beloved sibling.

"Oh yes, I'm a squib! Thank you, my dear, for reminding me of this obvious fact each bloody second of my life!" the tip of the wand trembled slightly, "And yet you've insisted for me to grow in this fucking magical world. Do you even imagine what's it like for a squib to watch others relish in something she could have never get? Moreover, each shameful wizard took it for his duty to remind me of what a piteous thing I was and how I should have worshiped my brilliant sister!"

The woman couldn't move feeling like all her insides doused with freezing water. Meanwhile the other continued.

"But of course, my Oh-fuck-I-am-such-a-genius sister couldn't care less! She was always so busy saving other peoples' lives. Then why didn't you save mine?!"

There was nothing the woman could say. Everything she could come up with were just lame excuses because eventually all of it was true. Of course, she did her best to support and protect her little sister even if it meant that she would tie her to the magical world and at that time it seemed to be the best choice. However, work, intrigues and powerplays took away almost all of her time. It was difficult after Grindelwald's defeat to try and bring German wizardry politics in order while keeping it away from Dumbledore's growing influence on their country. Considering that her family, one of the most authoritative pureblood clan in the region, was practically a hostage in the clutches of the old coot, it was indeed a tough job. So she was drawn into British society's life and consequently into the war against the newborn Dark Lord. She had never paid much attention to her sister's mental wellbeing thinking that providing her with a custody and anything she could give would be enough. Now it seemed to be one of the most disastrous mistake in her life.

As if sensing a train of her thoughts, Avis sneered at her and continued.

"Oh, how could I forget? You preferred to run around that slithery team instead. Tell me, how was it to betray our Lord in the middle of the war? Indeed, they can be very… arousing, but really? You should have done better than getting laid right under your husband's nose, don't you think so?"

The woman blanched at her sister's suggestive tone.

"I don't know what you are talking about," her gaze went distant and the girl could tell by the lack of usual "I'm serving no one" that her sister became really nervous. Grinning broader the girl leaned forward until they were on the same eye level.

"I'm pretty sure you know what I'm talking about. After all, that was his child."

The woman shivered slightly and with a derisive glint in her eyes the other straightened.

"I think it's for the best that he was sent away."

The phrase made the woman inhale sharply as if something pierced through her chest. Her eyes filled with horror as she tried to comprehend what the other had just said.

Her sister made a surprised face and covered her mouth with a hand, though malicious gleam in her eyes grew even brighter.

"Oh, sorry, I shouldn't have said that. Though… you are going to die now. What a pity you won't have a chance to see him."

Huge hot tears rolled down her cheeks. Betrayal was more painful than any torture could ever be. Her sister… The only person in this world she truly loved just stabbed her in the back. Her sweet boy whose death she had been mourning for years now was actually alive and she knew about it. And she mocked her with that. She rubbed her loss at her face as something worthy to laugh at. Dumbfounded the woman locked her gaze on the wand trying to pull herself together and find any strength to get out of it. She couldn't break, she wouldn't. Her lips trembled slightly and an uncontrollable sob escaped her open mouth.

"Though, if it will help you I guess that he will make you company quite soon…" the girl twirled a wand watching with joy as her sister crumpled into million tiny pieces.

The woman tried paying no attention to her sister's words but they just drilled through her mind echoing again and again until she could think of nothing more. Unable to help herself she lifted her gaze and was met with a gleeful sadistic glint in those crystal blue eyes.

"I think it's time for you to meet with our dear father, don't you think so?" the girl raised her wand to the woman's eye level.

"Bye-bye, Heidy," and grinning manically she swished a wand.

"Avada Kedavra!"

A loud thump echoed through the deserted corridors.

 _ **Reviews are much appreciated =)**_


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

The day was full of promise, if her raised spirits meant anything. Jane stood in the doorway to the backyard sipping her morning coffee. Each sip she took seemed divine, as a dull morning throbbing in her head gradually went away. Helen said once that it wasn't very good for her health to drink as much of it as she used to, but she just laughed it off. This was the only way to make the pain and dread, appearing in the wake of her terribly hollow nights, to vanish.

Jane gazed evenly at a vast bare field that extended straight to the horizon, ending there with black line of a forest. To the side of it was a narrow grey strip of road. Some would say that it was godforsaken place on the outskirts of Wales, because within a radius of 10 miles you couldn't find any large city or town but less than a dozen small villages. One of them lay nearby which was quite helpful for their family as it was the main source of their earnings. They were small landowners, and the only thing they did for life was selling bread, grain and sometimes potatoes growing on their earth. However that was enough for them to live adequately well in this house with four of them, one servant and a governess.

She heard roaring of a motor as in the distance passed a huge lorry. The villagers prepared for a huge celebration of the finished harvest, so their family freed all the employees from work for today. In fact that was a reason why she was standing here now enjoying her coffee and relishing in the warm rays of the golden morning sun. Jane was waiting for the right time to go upstairs and take her little princess for a walk. Once this thought crossed her mind something small suddenly hit her back and two little hands clasped around her torso. Trying not to pour the precious drink, she balanced and turned to see the 6-year-old ginger with an impish smile on her face.

"Scared?" she asked playfully with a gleam of hope in her eyes. She just smirked at that. In one swift movement Mary turned and tickled her gently so the girl laughed and evaded from the touch.

"Of course I'm scared, gingerhead, it's not very common to see beasts like you in the middle of the day."

The girl pouted at that, but her mood immediately changed and she began to jump around the elder brunette.

"Let's go, let's go, I want to see that old windmill you were talking about!"

Jane chuckled and, laying a hand on girl's shoulder, led her to the exit.

"As you wish, my princess. For this day I am yours to command…"

"Hey, Jane, you didn't say that it was so far away," girl said drowsily, shamelessly hanging on brunette's sleeve.

Jane patted her head, "We are almost there. Can you see that hill? It's right behind it."

As the windmill came into the view, ginger gasped in amazement.

"Wow, it's so big!" promptly she ran down the hill forgetting about recent tiredness. "Look, there are even some holes in it! It must be ancient!"

The girl came closer and looked around. "And where is the door," she mumbled beginning to circle the building. Knowing the child won't wander off Jane stopped right in front of a broken window. The windmill indeed looked so worn out as if it could crumble down at each second. Nobody used it for quite a time. Taking it down was expensive enough, so it stayed here as a reminiscence of good old times. Wistfully she looked at black holes which attracted attention of the little ginger, just as something moved in it. Jane took a step back but immediately pulled herself together. It should have been some wanderer who decided to make it his stay. However, it would be safer find her little gingerhead and hold her close.

"Daphne," she called and strode in the direction the child had gone several moments ago. However, turning around the corner she stepped into a dense fog. It instantly enveloped her and she couldn't say what was in two meters around her. Trying to suppress her growing nervousness Jane went further only to be immersed into freezing cold air. Little clouds of steam came out of her mouth rapidly as fear clenched her throat like a chain. The feeling was similar to one she had every time in her dreams. There were only her thoughts and suffocating fear in the infinite space of blackness. Mary shuddered at the memory and tried to focus on the way through the mist.

Suddenly there was a child's cry ahead and she immediately rushed to the place the voice came from. However, when Daphne came into view she stopped and stared aghast at the horrendous tall hooded figure mounting over the little girl. It slowly leaned over to her, not attacking openly, but something told Jane, that it didn't have any amiable intentions. Animal fear swept over her telling to run away as far as she could. She couldn't though. It was like her legs became lead all of a sudden, and only thing she could do was slump down to her knees and watch as it seemed last seconds of her beloved sister. Tears of helplessness rolled down her rosy cheeks. Why was she so miserable?! Why couldn't she do anything to save her dear one?! If only she had a power. Suddenly something burned on her hand, and her whole entity was filled with atrocious pain, burning in her brains. However, after several moments she recovered and looking up found herself face to face with the creature engulfed in red glow. It leaped over her and her cry resonated with a shriek of the thing as it melted into thin air.

Trembling she tried to understand what she just saw. There was no face. This… thing had no face. How could it even be possible? For a moment Jane just sat there gazing emptily into the space in front of her. It seemed the creature disappeared and they were safe. The fog began to disperse and she could clearly see Daphne lying in the grass with closed eyes. Jane tried to crawl to her but stopped midway unable to move any limb. Her head spun rapidly and with the last effort she once again fell into blackness.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

Green snake skin glistened dimly in the rays of the western sun filtered through folds of dark grey drapery as Nagini coiled near her master's chair. The man was sitting at the huge mahogany desk strewn with scribbled parchments. On the edge abandoned thick book opened at the list of some potion's ingredients was lying, while its owner was engaged in reading a letter. His long white fingers slowly stroked inky lines sometimes stopping and tapping the paper in thought. In the center of desk a little elf owl perched looking with its gigantic eyes at the man with serpentine features. He didn't pay her any attention until it suddenly began to flap its wings fiercely in agitation. Looking up the man noticed shadows creeping from under the door and falling in the corners of the room. He calmly waved his hand and the door to his study opened revealing tall hooded creature. It floated in the room stopping before the desk. The owl hooted loudly and flew to the farthest corner from the figure. Dark Lord straightened and looked up with a small smile on his lips seemingly not in the least intimidated by the depressive atmosphere.

"Ah, my friend, what's it that brings you here of all places? I thought you would be in my dungeons enjoying your gifts," he said in his cold high voice.

A sharp noise similar to crackling wood echoed across the room, "One of us didn't come. He went to Cymru for your foes."

Man's red eyes slightly widened and he slowly stood up.

"How long has he been absent?"

"Since you've came to us," the crackling intensified, "There are too few of us, we should stay intact, Voldemort."

The man grimaced at the veiled threat, and his fingers longingly stroked the wand. Too pity he couldn't use it if he wanted these creatures to be his allies.

"I will find out what happened. Wormtail!"

The creature was there almost in a second.

"M-m-master, did you call me, m-m-master?"

He squeaked as the man grasped his left forearm and pressed the wand on the black dark mark. There were loud cracks as Nott, Macnair and Avery appeared in front of their lord. Instantly they backed off seeing the figure behind the man, but quickly collected themselves and sank to their knees.

"Rise, my faithful," the man gestured them up.

"Due to unforeseen circumstances, one of our loyal allies has disappeared," he waved his hand in the direction of hooded creature.

"This morning I've asked our friend to honor me and kill some of my disloyal followers. You see, Phillipp and Clarisse eventually decided that after all these years their vows vanished and they could ignore my insistent calls," a dangerous glint appeared in his crimson eyes.

"However, it seems that something has happened as our friend is still absent. Thus I want you to check on our old friends, as they are likely to shed some light on the incident."

Three similarly malicious grins spread across their faces at the implication of upcoming tortures. Dark Lord nodded in approval and turned to his table picking up a piece of blank parchment. He waved his wand over it and handed it to Nott.

"This Portkey will lead you to their place in 30 minutes. You should kill them if they are still alive and investigate the cause of our friend's absence. Don't get caught and make sure that nobody notices or recognizes you. Go, I expect you return with a detailed report."

They bowed deeply and without extra words apparated away from his study.

-/-

Mary cracked her eyes open and saw crème ceiling with familiar chandelier. An awful headache pierced through her head and she instantly shut her eyelids. What had happened? Images raced through her mind and slowly she remembered everything. With a gasp she started from the bed, crumpled on the floor, rose with a swear and stumbled to the adjoining room. There, on the neat bed, was lying her little sister fast asleep. Looking at her peaceful healthy face Mary exhaled with relief. It seemed everything was fine. Maybe it was just a dream?

Formidably calmed down Mary proceeded into a bathroom. She needed a good soak in a bath to organize all her thoughts. Taking a change of clothes out from her cupboard she noticed burning sun slanting through the window. It should have been early evening.

At last climbing in a bath she felt as her tenseness evaporated into the warm soothing water. It was a bliss. Of course, everything was just her overheated imagination. Maybe she had eventually gone crazy after all those lonely nights in suffocating darkness. Hopefully not. Mary got lost in thoughts inadvertently going through her memories from the occasion, frowning in confusion. There was something else. There were scenes, pictures, which didn't belong to her. She had never lived through them, not at this life for sure. Perhaps they were glimpses of her childhood? The girl tried to remember them in detail. Firstly she saw a hospital. Rows of couches along the walls, bondages, drop counters. And her fingers stained with blood as she treated someone's wound. Then the picture changed and she was standing near the table with strange instruments scattered along it's surface. A tall man with wavy jet-black hair leaned over it scribbling something on the parchment. The image changed again and now she looked straight at the face of a young beautiful blond girl. She smiled gently as her sky blue eyes shone with affection…

Mary dove out from her muse. No, these were obviously not her memories. Something told her that their owner should have been much older than her. Definitely not some 15 year old girl.

She contemplated the fact of strange visions inside her mind a little longer and decided, that it was time for her to get out from water. As she wiped herself her gaze stopped on the mirror and after several seconds she backed away from it in shock. Within the crystal-clear glass surface stood slightly grown-up and modified copy of herself. Gone was adolescent clumsiness, her body became slimmer and finer, her features sharpened and hair gained a golden glow. Yet those were eyes which had her whole attention. They were no longer of a familiar chestnut color: there appeared tiny sparks of green in irises making them almost of a dark grass hue.

She came closer to the reflection and almost unbelievingly touched her cheek. Was it really her? What happened? Why did she change so tremendously? Did any body see her like that? Surge of panic swept over her and she ran out of the bathroom hastily pulling on a home dress. She should ask Helen about it and quickly. Once she reached a door, she hesitated. Could it be that they wouldn't recognize her? What if they will sent her into asylum? Maybe she did gone insane after all? Mary stood there torn with her own emotions and didn't even notice as the sun sank below the horizon immersing the world into the thickening twilight.

Suddenly a deafening explosion shook the house and the girl gave a surprised outcry. Without another thought she stormed out and hurried towards the source of a this horrible sound. Within seconds she reached the staircase and her blood ran cold once she caught the sight of a hall below. There was glass on the floor everywhere she could lay her eyes. Helen and Bernard, Daphne's parents, were lying there with blood streaming from their heads. Apparently they sat at the table right behind the windows, which now were shattered from the blast. The girl though stared at three unfamiliar figures as they towered above the mess and cast satisfied glances on their surroundings.

"Should you have been that dramatic, Macnair?" the eldest man with gray hair asked shaking his head.

"Hey, but what would be the life without good portion of dramatics?" the man with coffee brown eyes inquired playfully swirling a wooden stick between his fingers. "Especially when we can have some free reign here, right?"

"Pity I accidentally killed those muggles over there. Oh, right, we have someone else to play with…" thin lips of the third man curled into crooked grin and he turned towards hitherto two unnoticed people seating in the corner of the hall.

"Well, well, well… What is this? Aren't these two wayward members of our devoted union?"

Three man chuckled darkly.

"You know, Phillipp, Clarisse, our master is extremely displeased with your attitude. What is it, did you really think that you could hide from him in this little village?"

"No, we just…"

"Oh, do you hear it, Avery? They try to come up with some excuse," he turned to his companion. "How do you think, maybe we should punish them?"

Avery's eyes glowed with menace. "I think, Walden, that it's a really good idea." He raised his wand and said _"Unguis lacero"._

The man on the floor screamed in agony as his nails began to rip themselves out. Mary crouched behind the banisters and muffled a gasp with a hand. Her body shivered violently in fear and tears streamed down her cheeks as screaming continued. They were beasts who came to kill all of them. She should run, run as far as possible from here. However, there was only one exit and now it was blocked with those three monsters. Moreover, she couldn't leave Daphne behind, what if they found her in here? She should come up with some plan, she should do something. It was a deja vu. Everything like before: she could feel panic, fear, anger. But not power. There wasn't any strange heat in her hand, she couldn't feel a wave of something gripping her insides. Nothing abnormal. Just a little fearful girl crying silently and waiting for this nightmare to end. Oh, how she loathed her helplessness.

Pulling herself together and trying to push down her growing terror Mary turned round to watch what was going on below. It seemed men got carried away in their blood lust as they tortured and tortured their victims splattering more blood on the wooden surface. Finally the eldest man put a hand on Walden's shoulder.

"Wait, Macnair, we also have to find out what happened with a dementor."

The lanky man looked at him in confusion and as if remembering something good laughed.

"Oh yes, thank you, Oliver, how could I forget," he eyed his trembling preys with appreciation. "Hey, Philipp, do you want you and your wife to die quickly and painlessly?"

The ample person near his feet raised his head.

"We will grant you this wish if you tell us what exactly has happened with our dementor."

The person held his wife closer to him and answered in a hoarse voice, "We don't know what exactly happened, but the girl may know."

Mary strained visibly as she heard this mention of her.

Macnair grimaced. "What girl are you blabbering about?"

"The girl… Mary… A daughter of muggles… She should be in the room above."

Three man simultaneously lifted their heads and looked at the staircase. Oh no. If they go in there they will surely find Daphne. No, she won't let it happen, no way. Then it means…

Mary slowly rose above the balustrade under three intent gazes.

"Avery, get her."

She didn't move as the man climbed up to her and gripping her arm returned to the hall. He shoved her on the floor and the girl clumsily stumbled on her fours and still shivering got on her knees. Maybe it was even better because she didn't feel any strength to stand on her legs. The slow footsteps approached her until she could see tips of black dirty boots. Abruptly her head was jerked upwards and the girl stared in fright at the face of the lanky man. He grimaced once more and shove her backwards.

"She is only a child, Phillipp. Even if she is a mudblood I hesitate that she could do anything about the dementor. We will give you one last chance to reconsider your answer, Philipp. Or maybe your wife will be more talkative on the matter? What do you think, Clarisse?"

Suddenly with all clarity Mary understood, that it was the end. They were doomed. These three man will for sure kill Phillip and Clarisse, and they didn't hold any interest in her, so God only knows what they will do with her. There wasn't any chance for them to escape. Only one thing she could do was to somehow assure them that she indeed was the one guilty for anything that happened with this dementor thing. Perhaps that was that strange creature which Daphne and she met in the field? It made a sense. She could give it a go, after all there was nothing to lose.

With an effort she collected every remaining straw of will and blurted out, "If you mean that strange hooded creature without a face, than most likely I'm the one responsible for it's disappearance."

A dead silence fell over the room. Then Mary once again heard footsteps and this time she was made to look at the eldest man in the room. He fixed his gaze on her and after several long moments released her from his grip.

"Macnair, Avery, let's bring her to our Lord. He will sort everything out," he turned and looked at the Phillip's and Clarisse's whacked bodies.

"They won't last long. Just kill them."

Macnair scowled darkly and grudgingly uttered killing curses.

Turning back Nott aimed his wand at the shivering girl. _"Stupefy"._


End file.
